The Campbell's Take A Field Trip, Part II

When last I left you, my four-year old son had tugged on my heart strings through his trust in God...and we weren't quite to TEN yet.

At precisely 10:45AM, the number FIFTEEN is yelled with all the bed-side manner of a starving Boa Constrictor. I quickly gather up the stack of papers my young offspring have been scribbling on and herd the Campbell's in the appropriate direction. Waiting for us behind a mystical curtain is a lady in her mid-40s who appears to be having a bad day.

"How many shots do you want," she says without looking up from her clipboard?

"Well, I don't WANT any shots," I replied, hoping I could muster a smile from my less-than-enthusiastic host. Instead, she looked up at me over the rim of her $1 reading glasses...and gave me a stare that assured me she had killed before.

"We're here for two Hepatitis-A vaccines, ma'am." She filled out the rest of the paperwork, accepted my $16 (WHAT A BARGAIN!), and pointed me to another room...where I THOUGHT we would be quickly cared for.

Wrong!

Instead, we wander into another waiting room. And yes, three of our State School friends were present. One had a football helmet on -- the single bar variety, a la Joe Thiesmann. Elijah was immediately intrigued...and before I could stop him he was walking over to the young man to see his football helmet. But his journey came to a screeching halt...for also in the waiting room with us was the young lady that was screaming bloody-murder when we first walked into the clinic. Elijah leapt off the floor, did a quick 180, and dove into my arms. Noah is equally perplexed by our situation.

The chaperone quickly escorts all three of the students from the room. As she does so, another scream comes from behind the door adjacent to the waiting room. This scream, however, is all too familiar. It's the same scream that every child under the age of 6 makes the instant a needle is plunged into their body.

Elijah, hearing the scream, looks up at me with tears in his eyes. "I don't wanna get a shot," he screams! Noah, realizing his brother is upset, begins to do exactly as Elijah does. "No shot, Daddy, no shot!"

"TWELVE," comes the call from behind the door!!!

Only three more numbers to go. I can make it, I can make it!

By the time I hear the immortal word, FIFTEEN, the room is in utter pandemonium. My sons have started an epidemic of crying that would rival that of the opening night of "Beaches." We walk into the room, and the "executioner" is an imposing figure. A lady, standing over 6' tall, who could play on the offensive line for most Class 5A high school teams, rises from her chair and asks, "Who's first?"

Elijah, being the big brother, takes the initiative. "He is," he screams, pointing at his little brother! Noah is too young to know what he has just been sentenced to. I pick him up, hold him in my lap, and hang on for dear life while the nurse plunges a very large needle into his thigh. Noah hits a "High A" as his finger nails dig into my arms. The nurse puts a band-aid on his leg, which Noah promptly rips off and throws back at her!

I wheel in the chair to put Noah down...and Elijah is nowhere to be found. He has thrown open the door and made his escape down the hall. I stick my head out in the hall, and a nurse calls to me, "He went that way!"

I quickly track down my refugee son who is absolutely beside himself. When we get back to the room, the nurse has called in reinforcements. One nurse is holding a somewhat calmer Noah. Two more are ready to help restrain a panic-stricken Elijah. I, now sweating profusely from the stress and strain of the days activity, watch helplessly as they administer the necessary vaccine to my oldest son. Oddly enough -- when the needle goes in, he stops crying!

The band-aid is placed on his leg...and as though the Lord himself had said, "Peace, be still," the room becomes quiet. Amazed, I hug Elijah and said, "See that wasn't so bad."

Elijah looks back at me in confusion. So I continued, "Man, when she put that needle in your leg you didn't even cry!" Elijah's confused look turns into an expression of shock and disbelief. "SHE PUT A NEEDLE IN MY LEG!!!?!?!??" Immediately the tears returned and Elijah became hysterical with sorrow. I quickly gathered him and his brother into my arms (almost 70 pounds worth of kids) and RAN out of the building.

I looked behind me to make sure no one was chasing me...AND to make sure there wasn't anyone I knew.

Oh yeah -- and the best part of all: WE GET TO GO BACK AND DO THIS AGAIN IN SIX MONTHS!!!