Aristotle, He Isn't...

…but our middle son, Noah, is becoming renowned around our home for saying things that make you scratch your head.

Take this past week, for example.

It’s a sports-intensive time in the Campbell household. Elijah is playing basketball, baseball and soccer…while Noah is pulling double-duty of playing soccer and baseball. You can tell Noah LOVES baseball, because every spare moment he is striking another major league-emulated batting stance. So I am constantly asked, “Daddy, who’s the guy on the White Sox that bats like this…” and he strikes a Paul Konerko or Ken Griffey, Jr. pose. Now understand…it is IMPERATIVE that I answer him. Otherwise, I will spend the next 45 minutes detailing the batting stance of every player he ISN’T imitating in an effort to conclude our conversation.
Among the drives to practices, games, practices, games, and practices, both Elijah and Jacob managed to acquire a stomach virus of some sort (it’s always great when you walk in the front door and have your children run into your arms and hug you…and then promptly yack chocolate ice cream down your back!).

Elijah got attacked by this little bug most viciously…with both ‘ends’ participating in the festivities. Upon walking in the door on Friday, I asked Noah about his day at school. After he told me about his day in P.E. (I think that’s the only subject Noah is enjoying), he told me that Elijah didn’t go to school.

“Yeah, I heard Elijah had to stay home. What happened,” I asked?

“Oh, he was sick. He had DIABETES,” was his reply.

“Diabetes?!?!?” I tried not to laugh too loudly so as not to hurt my future doctor’s feelings.

“Don’t you mean…” Oh…never mind…

Later that evening we headed out for Noah’s baseball game. As Noah and I were warming up, one of his teammates came over to play catch with us. Noah is still in the mode of getting to know all of his teammates, and he didn’t know Nicholas’ name. When I said, “Hi, Nicholas,” Noah interjected, “Nicholas…that’s a weird name!”

Nicholas’ feelings were hurt…and he stuck his tongue out at Noah. I quickly took Noah aside and told him he can’t say things like that.

“Just because you have never heard that name before doesn’t mean it’s weird,” I explained. In an effort to make peace, Noah went over to Nicholas and said, “I’m sorry…I didn’t mean ‘weird.’ I meant that your name is FASCINATING.”

HUH???

Later that same evening, Elijah’s latest baseball game revealed that he has a teammate with an over-the-top dad. A WAY over-the-top-dad. With all due respect to either of you who are vertically challenged, Cory’s dad is a bit on the Zacchaeus side…and I think that translates a bit into his constant berating and scolding of his 7-year old. Well…it made Robin and I both extremely uncomfortable…as it did Elijah.

“Cory’s dad isn’t very nice to him,” Elijah commented on the way home from his game.
“No, he’s not is he,” was Robin’s reply. And so Robin and Elijah began an in-depth discourse on the integrity of the game, the responsibility of the coach-player-parent relationship, the importance of doing one’s best, etc. Not to be left out of the conversation, Noah interrupted with this jewel: “Not everyone has a red tongue!”

Well…you can’t just let that pearl of wisdom go! So Robin asked, “Really? Who doesn’t have a red tongue?”

“Nicholas, my fascinating friend. His tongue is kinda brown.”

After getting the wheels back on, we finished discussing Elijah’s teammate situation…but anxiously anticipated another commentary from Noah.