"I asked for a car; I got a computer."

Looking for a commentary that uses big words and ponders the deeper meanings of various topics? Well...you've come to the wrong place. This blog is all about extolling the greatness of Christ, the joy of marriage, the rollercoaster ride called parenthood, the supremacy of the 1980's...and doing all of it at a fifth grade reading level!

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

I'm no Blackie Sherrod...

...but here's my feeble attempt at imitating the Dallas Morning News legend:

Scattershooting while wondering whatever happened to Kurt Bevacqua...
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I saw that the Royals have hired former Ranger Buddy Bell to rescue their payroll-hindered team. Now all we need are jobs for Pete O'Brien, Curtis Wilkerson, and Wayne Tolleson, and the ol' Rangers infield will be back in tact!
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My neighbor Jones is so heavy he needs a shoehorn to get out of the bathtub.
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The NCAA Division II Track & Field Championships were held this weekend at Elmer Gray Stadium here in Abilene. What a blast! Nicodemus Nmadu from ACU won the 3000 Meter Steeplechase by more than half a lap. The night before, in the preliminaries, he broke the NCAA Division II national record...and it was only his fourth time to ever run the race! He also won the 5000 Meter Run in 14 minutes...and was disgusted with his time.

The most exciting race of the night was the Men's 4x400 Relay. ACU was in 2nd going into the final leg, but with 200 Meters remaining sophomore Delt Cockrell ran past the St. Augistine runner like he was standing still. That's the first time I ever saw a white guy run the anchor leg on a winning relay team.
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Hey...they're playing tennis in France. I quote the great Forrest Gump: "That's all I have to say about that."
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Drew Bledsoe expects that playing for Bill Parcells these days will be different than playing for him when he was a rookie. Personally, I'm looking forward to seeing many a shouting match on the sidelines...followed by Bledsoe carrying a clipboard and cheering on Tony Romo. Someone see if Phil Simms can still throw a football!
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Note to NBA fans. Amare Stoudamire was the superior post player in the Phoenix-San Antonio series...and he's only 20!
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And then there was the Aggie that flew to China because he heard of the controversy over euthanasia.
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For my next trick I'll try copying Dr Seuss...or maybe Leo Tolstoy. Hopefully those efforts will suck less.

1 Comments:

At 12:47 PM, Blogger ASA said...

Oh contraire my friend, I am having a time reading this blog. I have also forwarded it to my friends here in the North Texas area who love your comedy.

 

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