I Wish I Hadn't Seen That

My buddy Corey had a fun post the other day about movies he had never seen. It was fun reading through those and realizing how many good movies are out there that I've never had the opportunity to see.

During this mind-altering exercise, I also realized there were a ton of really bad movies out there that I HAVE seen...and I wish I hadn't.

With that in mind, from the home office in Pocatello, ID (where all really bad movies originate) here is the Top Ten Worst Movies Of All Time (that I've seen)...

Blogger's Disclaimer: It is understood that sequels not containing the words "Godfather" or "Star Wars" are automatically bad movies...and therefore have been discredited for this exercise.

10. Clueless -- My wife actually WANTED to see this. But even the beautiful Alicia Silverstone couldn't rescue this teen flick gone bad.
9. Ishtar -- This one is a given...but for those of us who have actually sat through this one, it cannot go unmentioned.
8. Inspector Gadget -- This one is my son's fault. How could Matthew Broderick go from "Ferris Bueller" to "Glory" to this piece of garbage? I know -- because he got tired of staring at Sara Jessica Parker! O-VER-RAT-ED clap, clap, clap, clap, clap -- another blog.
7. Titanic -- There's three and half hours of my life I'll never get back.
6. Out of Africa -- I saw this with a girl I was crazy about in high school, and she was dying to go see this movie....so I went. And yes, I got an honorary skirt and a copy of Helen Reddy's "I Am Woman" for attending the film.
5. Twister -- I spent an entire summer chasing storms and NEVER saw a tornado. Somehow these cats manage to find 5 or 6! The inanimate antagonist tornado doesn't work well with a plot. And for the love of God, please tell the folks at TNT to quit rerunning this thing and give me more "Coming to America!"
4. Anchorman -- And I WANTED this move to be funny. AAAAGH!!!
3. Dirty Dancing -- Yeah, no one puts baby in the corner...but I wish someone would've put my head in a vice! Boy, that Patrick Swayze sure can act!
2. Necessary Roughness -- You'll notice that we haven't heard from Sinbad lately, and Scott Bacula has been relegated to commanding a starship on cable. Even the lovely Kathy Ireland made me tired...but Fouts Field looked great!
1. Joe Versus The Volcano -- Saw this at the Chinese Theatre in Hollywood...and the place was EMPTY!!! Gee, I wonder why. Not even a cameo appearance by comedy legend Abe Vigoda could rescue this crappy flick. Interestingly, they never mention this film when rattling of ol' Tom Hanks' bio.

That's all I've got.