VH1 Frightens Me

I have a horrible habit of making one final trip through my favorite channels each night before I go to bed. As a result I usually wind up watching some often-run archaeology show on The History Channel or another rendition of Cold Case Files on A&E.

Tuesday night I scrolled past VH1 and saw they were doing a show on the 100 Greatest Artists of Hard Rock. As a fan of heavy metal, I was intrigued by the topic. I made some popcorn, grabbed a Diet Coke, and sat down to enjoy the show...never realizing I would spend the next four hours of my life screaming at the television. (By the way, whatever happened to music videos? I know, I know, that's a topic for another blog).

While the show was full of humorous stories and quotes (my favorite being Lemmy Kilmister from Motorhead saying, "If our band moved in next door to you, your lawn would die"), the folks responsible for the list need to have their music credentials re-analyzed. I submit the following evidence to support my case:

1. The Pixies (#81) are to hard rock what Chris Farley was to Chippendale's
2. While "Hit Me With Your Best Shot" is a great tune, Pat Benatar (#74) can hardly be lumped in with the masters of hard rock -- see "We Belong."
3. I'm not picking on the ladies...but Joan Jett (#66) -- does she really belong ahead of The Rolling Stones??? There are some great all-girl bands out there (The Go-Go's; L7 -- both are in desparate need of Jesus) that deserve some recognition..but neither should even be in the same hemisphere with The Stones.
4. Seattle has a lovely music scene...but does Soundgarden need to be in the top 20 (not to mention the fact they're ahead of The Ramones!!!)

I could go on, but my wife wants to use the computer. In closing, I have no serious complaints with the top ten...but here's mine:

10. The Ramones

9. The Who

8. Pink Floyd

7. Cream

6. Metallica

5. AC/DC

4. Nirvana

3. The Doors

2. Jimi Hendrix

..and 1. Led Zeppelin

Here's where you can find the full list: http://www.vh1.com/shows/dyn/the_greatest/62186/episode.jhtml