"I asked for a car; I got a computer."

Looking for a commentary that uses big words and ponders the deeper meanings of various topics? Well...you've come to the wrong place. This blog is all about extolling the greatness of Christ, the joy of marriage, the rollercoaster ride called parenthood, the supremacy of the 1980's...and doing all of it at a fifth grade reading level!

Friday, July 22, 2005

Underrated Movie Quotes

I understand that there was a TV show that listed the 100 best movie quotes of all time. Unfortunately I did not see the show...so I cannot attest to it's accuracy...but I'm sure several of the best were left of the list. So allow me to extoll the greatness of some underrated lines...and feel free to add your own!

From The Breakfast Club
Principal: Any questions?
John Bender: Yeah, I got a question. Does Barry Manilow know you raid his wardrobe?
Principal: The answer to that question can be found here next week. Don't mess with the bull young man; you'll get the horns.
Psycho: My name is Francis Soyer. But everyone calls me "Psycho." Any o' you guys call me Francis...and I'll kill ya!
Random Soldier: Wooooooo!
Pscycho: You just made the list, pal! And I don't like anyone touching my stuff. Any o' you guys touch my stuff...and I'll kill ya!...And I don't like people touchin' ME either. So keep your meathooks off. Any o' you...homos...touch me...and I'll kill ya!
Sgt Hulka: Lighten up, Francis.
Major League
Manager: Willie, you may run like Hayes, but you hit like s***!
Ferris Bueller's Day Off
Ed Rooney: He jeopardizes my ability to effectively govern this student body.
Grace: He makes you look like an ass is what he does, Ed.
Fast Times At Ridgemont High
Brad: Hey, you guys had shirts on when you came in here."?
Spicolli: Well sumptin' happened to 'em man."?
Brad: Come on Spicolli, just put the shirts back on. See that sign?"?
Spicolli, Eric Stoltz, Anthony Edwards: No shirt, no shoes, no dice "
Brad: Right. Learn it, know it, live it.
Forrest Gump
Lt Dan: What happened to your lip, son?
Bubba: I was born with big gums, sir.
Lt Dan: Well, you'd better tuck that thing away or it'll get caught on a trip wire.
Carol: I happen to think your grandmother is BRILLIANT!
Gil: If she's so smart why is she sitting in the neighbor's car?!
The Outlaw Josey Wales
Wales: Are you gonna pull those pistols or whistle "Dixie"?

Just some thoughts...

Friday, July 15, 2005

My Day in Downtown Houston

This past Friday we had "A Night At Minute Maid Park" for ACU alumni and friends from around the Houston area. Robin refused to stay home, so we loaded up the family minivan and made the 6-hour trip to Houson...which, after having to pullover and repeatedly beat my two-year old, turned into an 8-hour trip. Traveling with my family is a blog topic for another time.

Anyhow, my wife was a wonderful help to me...so she deserved the opportunity to do whatever she wanted. She chose a day at IKEA (again, that's another blog topic). So me and the boys slept in. What a blessing!

About 9:45, Elijah announced that he was ready for room service. After explaining to him that the Campbell's don't do room service, we searched the Internet for the nearest McDonald's. Fortunately it was a mere 1/2 mile down the street from the downtown hotel we were in. So, at 10:05AM, we were off to McDonald's. At 11:45 we were back in our hotel room. But the one hour and 40 minutes we spent together were educational and priceless.

On the way to McDonald's, Elijah demonstrated his counting abilities. He counted cigarette butts, pigeons, buses -- you name it, he counted it. Noah copied everything his older brother said and did...it was precious.

Walking into McDonald's, Elijah promptly noticed this wasn't like our favorite McDonald's in Abilene. No toys, no games...and quite a different clientele. We walked to the front counter and met Charlie. Charlie was obviously homeless...and it was quite apparent Charlie hadn't bathed in days. Charlie said "hi" to Elijah and Noah and did a wonderful job of keeping them occupied while I ordered, got napkins and ketchup, and found a table to sit. So when Charlie asked me for something to eat, I couldn't bring myself to make up the old, "I don't have any money" lie.

So I went back to the front and ordered Charlie a Quarter Pounder meal. His smile was priceless as he filled his cup with Sprite and headed out the door. As Charlie walked out the door, Elijah hit me with a barrage of questions:
Why did that man smell bad?
Why did he not have any money?
Where does he live?
Why did you buy him food?

So I took the opportunity to share with Elijah about how God wants us to help people.

The teaching moment wasn't over more than a few seconds, when the homeless lady two booths down from us looked skyward, clapped her hands rapidly, and let out a shrill scream....then resumed eating. Elijah and Noah stared at her, mouths wide open. Elijah asked the question that was on everyone's mind...but instead of asking me, he got up from his chair, went to her table, tapped her on the shoulder, and asked, "What are you doing?"

Her response was awesome. "This is the best hamburger I've ever had, and I wanted God to know how happy I was."

As we walked back to our hotel, I tried to explain to Elijah how we need to be as thankful for the things we have as that lady was. But I think the lady's reaction and explanation to my son did the job perfectly.

As we wandered back to our hotel, I noticed a third homeless man following us. I tried to hurry the boys along, but to no avail. Soon the man was walking beside us and staring at my sons. "Those are a couple of handsome kids," he said. Before I could respond, Elijah introduced himself.

"My name is Elijah. I'm in the Bible, and I'm 4." Noah tried to follow up with his own bio, but I don't think anyone understood.

The man smiled. "I love the story of Elijah." And he began to recount the story about Elijah's battle with the prophets of Baal. He told it beautifully...the way a Sunday School Teacher would explain it to a class of 4-year olds. I've told Elijah the story before...but it never sounded that good. At the end of the story, the man smiled again, patted both boys on the head, winked at me, and turned down the next street.

So the boys and I finished our walk to the hotel. I was humbled by my experience and grateful for the three angels God sent into our lives to minister to us that day.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Scattered thoughts on a weekend in Houston

Just some random thoughts on my weekend I spent in Houston...
  • Could a city be any more humid??? GOOD LORD!!! You walk outside, and you can almost take a bite out of the air. You a break a sweat just by blinking!!!
  • Minute Maid Park is AWESOME! I haven't been too many major league ballparks, but the electricity and the atmosphere of Minute Maid is incredible.
  • On that same note, Roger Clemens could pitch until he's 50. Even though he has said and done things in the past that make people hate him (i.e., throwing a piece of a bat at Mike Piazza), the man can pitch!
  • Humidity!
  • I'm not a big shopper...but IKEA is a great place! Just don't take your two-year old there on a Saturday.
  • Is construction a hobby for folks in Houston...or do they actually plan to finish something. Just curious.
  • Went to the Galleria on Saturday night. It's big...and I felt really poor.
  • Saw a marquis for the remake of "The Bad News Bears" while walking through the Galleria. Obviously Hollywood has paid no heed to my post on remaking good movies. Billy Bob Thornton has a very high opinion of himself if he thinks he can build on Walter Matthau, Tatum O'Neal, and, the comedy force of the '70s, Englebert!!! He should stick to movies about mentally challenged folks with an affinity for lawn mower blades.
  • Did I mention that it's humid AND hot in Houston!

Next -- my trip to a McDonald's in Downtown Houston.